Catch Me When I Fall
by your new girlfriend
Summary: Redone. Who will be the one to save me, from myself? Who will be the one who's there and not ashamed to see me crawl? Who's gonna catch me when I fall? Is anybody out there? Does anybody see, that sometimes loneliness is just a part of me. Implied Naley,
1. Save Me From Myself

_"One more year has come and gone, and nothing has changed at all..." -- unknown_

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_"And in other news tonight it looks like the Philidelphia 76ers look to wrap up Detroit's own Pistons tomorrow night without help of rookie stand out Nathan Scott. That's right sports fans it looks as though the young Scott's career has taken a turn for the worst with last nights potentially career ending injury in game five of their play off run. When asked earlier of the seriousness of the younger star Nathan's injury Alexande McCawley, who signed a year before his college teammate, says he expects a full recovery as soon as next year. The team trainer and doctor seems to think this is optomistic thinking and has released..."_

Nathan glowered at the voice on the television and looked down at his glass. Scotch on the rocks, just as his father had taken it before him. While they weren't on speaking terms Nathan couldn't help but have a certain respect for the way he had played the game. His life had gone exactly as he'd wanted it most of the time. For that Nathan admired him, for everything else he loathed him. At least he wasn't sitting at home by himself, he thought, convinced that it was better to be out. Here he could at least be social.

Or not. Nathan was only vaguely aware of what the person across from him, his best friend since college, had been saying for the past hour. Only remembered little snippets from the conversation before that. Living how he had as a teenager and even before that had given him the well honed ability to nod and say non-comittal words where it was needed. Alexander, his friend, knew this of course. He had known Nathan long enough to know when the twenty-four year old athlete was zoning out. But Alex was also smart enough to realize that he needed his space. After a near career ending injury Nate wasn't ready to be his loud and rambuncious self just yet. Given time he'd return he always did.

"Yeah man I hear you." Nathan said dully when a pause in conversation came up. Alex merely nodded and tipped his bottle back draining what was left of the contents leaving Nathan to wonder what he'd just 'sympathized' with. Lucky for him his friend was taking it for an okay agreement. Judging from his past relationships and the dozen or so he had been around for Alex figured that Nathan knew exactly what he meant when he complained about his girlfriend. After all a marriage didn't fail for no reason, not that Alex knew anyway. It had been an unspeakable since they'd met and he'd only heard him talk about when Nate was drunk or depressed.

"Yeah." Alex mirrored nodding and looking between his empy bottle and the empty glass his friend held. He looked toward the bar knowing that it was in their best interest not to have another drink but not caring. He knew Nate would get it anyway and he would only follow suit. It was never fun to be the odd man out, not drinking when everyone else was. Even if their coach warned against things like this on the night of a big game. Partying was simply not supposed to be done after a certain hour but he reasoned that it wasn't exactly partying more like male bonding with alcoholic pluses. "I'm gonna go refill, you want?"

Nathan nodded his head and passed the empty glass across the table. While he could have stayed at the table and signalled a bartender/waitress Alex took it as his cue to leave. Not that he much minded anyway. The whole atmosphere that seemed to have blanketed their table was suffocating. Getting away, if only for a few moments, was a well taken opportunity.

Watching Alex blend with the crowd Nathan allowed his head to droop a little before he propped it up on his hand. As girly a move as it might be he just didn't have the will power to do it on his own. He was no light weight but six drinks into the night he was starting to feel the effects and knew that tomorrow he would regret his decision. But it was only eleven thirty and he still had half an hour until midnight. That was half an hour he could spend as he wished before he was allowed no drinks, no food, no anything but water until well into the afternoon the very next day. Besides now a days he needed it just to numb the pain not only from the leg that now sat firmly braced from a torn ACL but the pain of knowing while he was failing she was out there with the potential to succeed. She had chose to quit he had been told to. And even after all these years, even after the divorce was in the final stages of being he was unstable while she had her life together.

His mood if anything darkened at the thought. The only time he ever felt ill will toward her openly was when he was drunk or worst, when his mind was chemically imbalanced and he couldn't keep the friends act up. The truth was they were still friends and would probably remain to be so. Even if she was determined to win him back to this very day. Caught up on the idea that they were meant to be together as she had told him nearly three weeks ago. When she had said that though he was giving up she would not, that she was done chasing him but in the end he would see that they belonged together. It was on nights like these that he longed to just pick up the phone and call her but he didn't dare do it. He knew that she would be nothing but a girl to warm his bed and take his mind off of the pieces of his life that were rapidly falling away. He couldn't do that to her. As much as he tried not to let it be so she meant more to him than that and he would always love her. Just not in the way he had at first, at least that was what he had taught himself to think. It was hard to tell what Nathan really thought. A woman scorned was a terrible encounter but a man such as himself was a hundred times worst.

Alex came back with the drinks and set his glass in front of him breaking the reverie that had been going on. The internal battle with his inner self. The very want that drove all man to make terrible mistakes. And he didn't notice as he took a drink from the glass that had been set in front of him that Alex was watching with bated breath waiting to see if he noticed anything wrong or different. And it was only after Nathan gave a look of contentment, as if his further intoxication was easing his mood and spirits, that Alex allowed himself to relax and enjoy his own drink. He merely figured that his friend's tastebuds had been so numbed by his prior drinks that he hadn't noticed his newly watered down supplement. Alex had specifically asked for it that way unwilling to watch him slip back into a brain altering, personality suppressing, stupor.

"So Nate," Alex began his newest attempt at a conversation. He hoped that Nathan would take the bait and pay attention this time as he awaited any sign of recognition. Or anything to show that he was listening in the least now that his name had been directly used, nick or not.

"uhm." Nathan merely grunted in response through a mouthfull of his downgraded usual staring at it as though there was something deeply interesting about the amber contents of the glass. Knowing of course that there was not.

"I hear the funeral is set for thursday," He said pausing to tip his bottle back and looking nervously at Nathan. He knew how his reaction had been when the news had reached them just a few weeks prior. He had literally caused himself a heart attack with all the stress and activity he had done to release it. "How're you holding up man?"

"What do you think?" Nathan replied turning the question on his friend. He was being a bit snappy but he didn't mind enough through his own problems to care how Alex was reacting to his new attitude. He knew that in reality it was unfair of him to treat the other this way and after a few moments of silence he exhaled rather deeply. "As good as can be expected. You know, hard to believe they're actually gone you know?"

Alex nodded his head but inside he couldn't imagine the devestating blow it must have been. He hadn't understood the dynamics of their relationship but Alex had known that the two had been acquainted for many years. He had only had the opportunity for a brief meeting on a couple of occasions. Nothing for him to get a real feel for the person they actually were but enough for him to know that they had been an influence and a good one on the younger of the two friends.

"Understandable." Alex said after letting a silence pass in which he tried to find a phrase or word to say. It wasn't enough to be awkward but it had been enough to give Nathan an idea that it might be an uncomfortable subject for the other. Brought up only for his benefit and out of worry. "Are you ready? To go back I mean?"

"To see her you mean?" Nathan corrected him with a knowing look.

Alex shook his head, signalling a misinterpretation of his real meaning. "I mean all of them." He corrected peeling at the label on his nearly full bottle. He wasn't into drinking the rest of it and merely had it because Nathan had one. He didn't want to pass judgement or seem like he was trying to be saintly either when it came to their choices tonight.

"Probably not," Nathan truthfully answered after swallowing the last of the scotch from his glass. It had been rather surprising to both that he had actually admitted this but he knew he could deny it in the morning if it got out. Besides this was Alex, he was almost like a brother. He wasn't one of the other team who he'd just met and been hazed by. "But it's something I have to do. If roles were reversed they'd be there."

Alex nodded, again unable to find proper words. Instead he chose to let the topic fizzle out giving him a simple and non committal 'yeah' in response. And while he had been invited to tag along as Nathan's plus one he had declined the offer. He wanted to be there for the kid he viewed as a younger brother but he had the game. Not to mention the awkward moments that might follow. A near stranger walking into all their lives. No, it was a time for family and friends not for intrusions and introductions. He'd just have to hope that his friend didn't sink into a stupor. That the once again auburn girl that had crushed him before didn't come calling for a second visit. Because as much as everyone else was okay with Haley and their friendship Alex though it would be best if they cut ties. The again who was he to talk? His fiance had done some pretty frowned up things to him and vice versa.

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own the concepts, idea, or any situations I use that come from the television series One Tree Hill. Nor do I own any of the characters (Nathan & Haley) that I frequently use or those that I use sparringly that come from the television series. They all belong to their respective owners. I do, however, own situations, themes, concepts, characters (Alexander) that you don't recognize from the show. Please don't steal. The title is from the song Catch Me When I Fall by Ashlee Simpson as will many of the chapter titles. Quotes at the chapter beginnings are not mine either. The quote at the beginning of this one is finished in the next chapter.

**Minor Note: **This is not going to be the typical Naley fic I feel there are too many out there. This will also not be the typical OTH Nathan is miserable story those are done over and over until you get tired of them. This will be entirely new with a new cast of characters for the most part. If you want visualizations for characters say so in a review and I will provide them for you via PM. R&R otherwise this story wont be completed. As long as I get a review (although more would be appreciated) I will continue the story.


	2. Only The Good Die Young

_" ...wasn't I supposed to be someone who can face the things that I've been running from?" - unknown_

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Thursday had seemed like such a long distance from the time that he had found out about the funeral but it had come quickly for the youngest Scott. More quickly than he would have liked. Fidgeting out of discomfort and nerves brought by the awkward silence he once again adjusted his tie and shifted his weight around as he could. Two days out of the hospital, after two surgeries, and his leg was killing him. He had expected Houston to be hot, humid even but what he had found was quite opposite. Snow blanketed the ground a cool breeze blew through the graveyard chilling him to the bone. The sky clouded over gray. It seemed a fitting weather pattern for a day filled with such misery, Nathan couldn't help but think this as he watchd the priest sprinkle holy water on the coffin and the ground, sanctifying them for all time. And when he started the prayer asking them to bend their heads as he did so Nathan couldn't help but take a quick glimpse around before his mother tsked him and he obliged.

_"Lord God, through your mercy those who have lived in faith find eternal peace. Bless this grave and send your angel to watch over it. As we bury the body of Lucas Eugene Scott, welcome him into your presence, and with your saints let him rejoice in you forever. We ask it through Christ, our Lord, Amen."_

As the priest finished his blessing and prayer the crowd murmered 'amen' and raised their heads to bid their loved one fairwell one last time. It was at this moment that Nathan realized that there were more people than he had seen in the church standing around this small cemetary in the freezing weather. But of course he knew that there would be. The church service had been closed, the cemetary was not. They were here to support Karen and say their goodbyes to an active community member, one of the more loved young adults, who had died suddenly from a terrible inherited disease.

Nathan had never felt such sympathy nor had his heart gone out to someone quite as it did to those that had known and loved Lucas more than anyone that had known him in the short span he had been with them. A brother's love was not the same as the mother or the only father he had ever really known. As the crowd spoke in hushed voices and sent words or looks of sympathy at them Kieth Scott avoided all eye contact. Instead looking around with wide, haunted eyes. Gaunt and thinner than Nathan had seen his uncle ever be. While Karen pressed a kleenex to her mouth, dabbing her eyes every now and then. Gaze fixed firmly on the casket, a wild look, at least Nathan thought, around her. But his attention once again was drug back to the priest as he began to finish his sermon.

_"With faith in Jesus Christ, we reverently bring the body of this man to be buried in its human imperfection. Let us pray with confidence to God, who gives life to all things, that he will raise up this mortal body to the perfection and company of the saints."_

As he said these words and flipped the once closed missil open, thumbing through the pages to the final prayer Nathan looked for Brooke. She was sure to be here. His brother's one and only. The one Lucas had been so sure was the one and had married their freshman year of college. His eyes landed on her, supported by Peyton, in the corner of the horseshoe group that was gathered around the cemetary. She too looked as though the loss had aged her, the bubbly air around her gone as she sobbed hoarsley onto the shoulder of her oldest friend. Even so she was as attractive as the day he had met her. But that was Brooke. He felt sorry for her too but smiled softley as he remembered the conversation Lucas and himself had, had about the girl who held his heart right after he had made his apology dinner for Haley, the one she had never come home to, the one Taylor had showed up after.

_**Lucas walked into the apartment Nathan had once called home. As he approached the table he motioned toward the dinner for two that had been set up. The same look on his face that he had always gotten before he said a smart allec remark.**_

_**"Is this my apology?" He asked Nathan with a slight laugh knowing full well it wasn't but humoring Nathan none the less. It was awkward almost after their confrontation after he'd found out who had truly told his mother about HCM. The disease that would end his life in the future.**_

**_"No, this is Haley's apology. I don't owe you one. You know why?" Nathan paused to look at him waiting to see if he would answer but not expecting him too. Lucas was too much like him, they might not have admitted it but they shared the stubborn qualities. "Because nobody wants to lose you Luke; not your mom, not Keith, not Haley, not me."_**

Lucas rolled his eyes and looked at Nathan. He was surprised that Nathan had said it but he was also feeling like it was meant to be a guilt trip. Something he didn't appreciate when he was sure that he was fine. "There's nothing wrong with my heart, Nate." He finally said in a tone laced with hints to drop the subject.

_**"Yeah? Thats what you said after your car accident." Nathan said looking at him skeptically and turning his attention from the dinner and soley to Lucas. "You told me you didn't want to be afraid to live your life."**_

_**"That's right." Lucas nodded wondering where he was going with all of this. But knowing that if he chose to buy into the hype about HCM, if he chose to take the test and had it, that he would be afraid to live, at least at this point in his life. Too afraid of killing himself to do anything reckless again and he didn't want that.**_

_**"Well I don't buy it, Luke." Nathan said looking at him seriously. Or as seriously as Nathan had ever looked at anyone before. "I think there's something in your heart that you're running from."**_

_**At first Lucas smirked and waited for Nathan to say he was pulling his chain. But when it didn't come he just sighed and looked away from him. Looked at anything but his younger brother who's infinite wisdome seemed to have finally come. "OK, what are you: psychic?" He questioned in a less than serious way.**_

**_"You can make jokes about it all you want," Nathan said completely and totally serious. He didn't want his brother to suffer what he had before he'd found Peyton and after that before he'd found Haley. "But you know there's a girl you had feelings for."_**

_**"Nathan-" Lucas said sounding a little unnerved, and wanting badly to drop the subject.**_

**_"Look me in the eye. Tell me I'm wrong." Nathan said waiting as Lucas looked at him and opened his mouth to speak. But no words would come, just as had been suspected he couldn't say it. Or wouldn't. "See, now you can be mad at me all you want; you can say your heart's fine...but till you tell this girl how you feel," Nathan shrugged as Lucas nodded at his statement. "Your heart's going to be flawed. You need to talk to her Luke."_**

_**Nathan walked away done talking to his brother. He had given him all that he could and left him there to contemplate. Everyone deserved to find that great love they'd been missing out on. Lucas had given him his and thus Nathan wished to return the favor. But he hoped Lucas chose the right girl this time. He knew which his true feelings would always be for if he hadn't messed it up too badly now.**_

And so he guessed his heart was healed, finally whole. Propelling him to move off to bigger and better things. As he had saved her, she had healed him. Everything happened for a reason, and though he knew that it was a sad time Nathan found it bittersweet. Thankful that Lucas had to suffer no more. He had truly touched all of their lives and left footprints nobody could see without him they wouldn't be who they were today. He had brought Peyton to Jake, Haley to himself, and healed a long broken girl. Though the good times might have passed they had never loved like that before. And for all his saintly hood in human form it was time that he truly got his wings.

_"Let us pray for our brother Lucas Scott to our Lord Jesus Christ. Who told us 'I am the ressurection and the life. The man who believes in me will live even though he dies, and every living person who puts his faith in me will never suffer eternal death.' Lord, you wept at the death of Lazarus, your friend: comfort us in our sorrow. We ask this in faith."_

"Lord, hear our prayer." The congregation, or at least the other Catholics amongst them, murmered in response. It was as though no one was willing to break the hush that had fallen over the cemetary save for the priest who spoke confidently as ever. That or people had taken to weeping for their loss rather than following the tradition set long before them. Nathan, himself, almost missed this sentence as he had let his mind wander.

_"You raised the dead to life; give our brother Lucas eternal life. Our brother Lucas was washed clean in baptism; give him fellowship with all your saints. He was nourished with your body and blood grant him a place at the table in your heavenly kingdom. Comfort us in our sorrow at the death of our brother; let our faith be our consolation and eternal life our hope. We ask this in faith."_

As the preist closed his missil the congregation murmered their last 'hear our prayer' and looked at him expectantly. Nathan noticed that the air seemed to be thicker, the sorrow more heavy. It pressed upon them from all sides and as he looked at Karen a look of recognition, maybe a revelation, appeared in her eyes as she stared at the casket. The same position she had always been in, arm laced with Kieth's. Brooke too looked worst for wear. She had since seemed to crumble to the ground, Peyton seemingly trying to sooth her, as they rocked back and forth Brooke making odd noises as if she were trying not to cry anymore.

Looking at them all the priest cleared his throat. His eyes seemed to land one by one on all that new the boy closely. Starting with Karen and ending with Deb and Nathan. Though he thought the priest might just be looking around for them it seemed to Nathan that their eyes locked for half a second longer than they should have. As if he was silently telling them all something. That or he was odd. Nathan chose the latter of the two to believe.

_"Let us pray as our Lord taught us," _He paused briefly to catch the attention of those around him and allow them to once more bow their heads out of respect. _"Our Father who art in heaven -"_

"No!" The scream seemed to tear through the air sending shockwaves through the crowd. It seemed more quiet as though everything else had ceased to move shocked that this person dared to yell so loudly in so serene in a place. Everyone turned their heads to see where it had come from, wide eyed, some mouths hanging open when they found the source, an unlikely one at that.

It was Karen who had yelled the word. It was Karen who had in front of everyone propelled herself forward at those bearing the shovels. Standing next to the pile of dirt where a patch of fake grass had been thrown to make it seem more hospitable as was greatly assumed. Like that would some how ease the pain of a suffering mother or make anyone feel better about burying a lost one. Hands reached out to grab her but they were belated. She had found her way atop of the coffin and pounded furiously on the lid with her fists. A dull thud resignated through the group and causing those that had already lost it to become hysterical. Those that had not were too shocked to move.

"Lucas Scott you come out of there right now!" She screamed furiously through tears as she pounded her fists on the top. Pounded them even when they turned red and looked as if they were sore. "Lucas, goddammit, you stop playing around!"

Keith was the first to move approaching her from behind but unable to pull her from the coffin himself as she clung tight to it. In the end it was Deb and Nathan who would step forward and help. The only ones unconcerned with embedding the image into their minds for future gossip. Once she had been pulled off Karen's yells became quieter and quieter as they turned to sobs and she fell limp in Keith's arms, clinging to him for support and sobbing into his chest as he fought to remain composed.

_"- hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, they will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Through Christ our Lord amen."_

Without missing a beat once Karen had been restrained the preist continued on in the same monotonous voice as he had been using all the while. And he stayed there standing with his hands clasped around the missil as the family stood near him as composed as they could be while everyone paid their respects. Once the crowd had passed Nathan turned to Karen to pay his. Let her know that if there was anything she needed, anything at all, he was a phone call away. He made sure Brooke was safely in his rental car before walking toward the other side knowing that in just a few moments he would be in a long line of cars back to the once full of love Scott Household where a wake would follow. Nathan wasn't quite sure what it would contain but he was sure it would be interesting, they always were when the Tree Hill residents got together in such a large number. Then again he'd have to face all the awkwardness that was being around Haley within the grouping of their friends, oddly enough he didn't remember seeing her at the services.


End file.
